Pancake Man’s Revenge | write out loud

Here’s a long story I’m going to tell,

About a guest from the Netherlands: ‘The guest from HELL’.

a girl of 30

haughty and shirtless

girlfriend of a rely

Who grew up without TV.

A professional girl with a Burberry scarf

She never said ‘thank you’, she never had a larf-

He never picked up the trash, the water wasn’t “hot enough” to bathe in.

Too boring conversation, she would have been snoring-

If it wasn’t for her phone… to use while *she* zoned-

Outside while others sat down to eat and chat-

She was honestly sitting at bat

Around Candy Crush, I saw her!!

She (really did!) described herself as a ‘whore’-

Before meeting her boyfriend

Apparently both tend

To fuck with whoever whenever

Disgusting and unintelligent.

Not nervous and cool

Horrible, immature fools.

A week of arrogance and denunciation

Everything was contaminated

-ed.

*Apparently* (eyes roll)

Either that or not good enough-

For this special Dutch-

Girl with weird features

In his personality, and someone he hates

When your pancakes aren’t crispy…

I mean… *you* or *I* would think it’s RISKY!

March back into the kitchen-

Where the pancake maker was complaining

To serve pancakes for FOUR-

I was literally CRASHED

When she demanded more cooking

Of the pancake on her plate, despite the rest of us watching

For *our* pancakes that WILL NOT BE SERVED YET

Towards the rest of the whole herd

We had all put HER FIRST.

With frying pan in hand

The cook agreed to his demand.

put it back on

But wait… What is rising from within?!?

It’s Pancake Man surfing and stalking

on the border

He’s here to tell you that you’re terribly rude.

To scold her and say ‘Just eat your damn food’!!

Guy.

He stayed a week and didn’t say ‘goodbye’

do not Cry

Since I had time to look

The number of times she never said thank you

I never said ‘Good morning’, I never pulled lines

With the rest of us, she didn’t give a shit

We were scum and she was ‘THAT’.

She stole some sunglasses that I left for her use

Just for the time he was here (!!), but he released them!!

Just in your case without me knowing it…

I was determined not to be seen showing-

ANY thanks to your hosts for the things they gave,

She thought we’d let it slide… but we were ready to save (mwahhaaa!!!)

They were vintage from the 60’s! not easy to find!

He was probably planning on gaining a few pounds!

From its sale on Ebay or Vinted or Depop

And now actually yes, she DOES have to leave

Return them to where we can retrieve them.

This is NOT… the person you want for your child.

(step).

Pancake Man got up to give him a warning:

Be humble, be kind, don’t be bored or yawn

C*nt.

All your life.

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