Horrible Gomphidius | write out loud

Sometimes I think the name ‘Joanne’ isn’t frivolous enough-

Because just now on TV, I saw a fungus called ‘HIDEOUS GOMPHIDIUS’.

Compared to the plain and boring ‘Joanne’… HIDEOUS GOMPHIDIUS is very exotic!!

I mean yes, my parents would surely be considered PSYCHOTIC

If they had given me that name

But who could have blamed

They though!!!??

Truly unique!!

Exquisitely boutique!!

people would be scared

TF OUT!! when they asked: ‘Name?’

And I just stood there…laughing at myself…raising my game-

From vanilla-manilla ‘Joanne’…….to **HIDEOUS GOMPHIDIUS!!!!**

LET’S DO IT!!!

Name change!!

All the rage-

These days!!

My parents would *probably* remain loyal-

On the phone saying, ‘Hello? Is it horrible?’… (and yes, they would definitely *back away* in silence)…

But long-term profits matter!

It would make the neighbors chatter!!

‘All press is good press’, so they say.

There again… I would probably keep my daughter away.

from me for a while

Definitely DO NOT SMILE

While standing next to me in line

‘HIDEOUS GOMPHIDIUS, the Dr will see you now!!’. “You’re a pig!!-

Mother, for changing your name!!”

she would exclaim.

Therefore, the idea has been canceled from my brain (boooooo!!!).

So, ‘Hideous Joanne Gomphidius’? …it has been a pleasure meeting you-

But I do NOT need my highly critical daughter to call me POO-

HEAD.

One more time

For the fifty millionth time.

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